Back in July of 1999, I wrote a series of articles intended to help newer players think about how they present themselves to others. I was inspired to write these articles in response to newcomer complaints about older players refusing to play with them. The tendency was to blame the older players, citing elitism and cliques, rather than to consider the possibility that they might be doing something to drive away potential gaming partners.

Today, some of the truisms have changed. For instance, using colons to separate narrative from dialogue, while still the most predominant convention, is not so widespread that the use of other symbols is a distraction. Still, I think the overall theme of the articles is still relevant.

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Introduction

Why Won’t They Play With Me?

Over the years that I’ve patronized this forum (FFGF on AOL), I’ve seen this question asked, in one form or another, over and over again. I’ve gotten e-mail, IMs, and read posts — all asking why a player or players will not game with an individual.

Many of these people get their feelings hurt. That’s natural. They try to console themselves by calling players cliquish, snobs, or elitists. That’s natural too, but it’s not always true. I don’t deny that there are cliques out there. There are snobs and elitists. However in my experience, it’s usually something the player is doing that prevents others from gaming with them.

I’ve put together a series of posts on what I believe to be the most common reasons why some players do not game with others. This series is not comprehensive, but I think it might help.

As with most rules of thumb, there are exceptions. If someone does any of the things I speak against, and you are not having problems finding people to game with, I think it’s pretty safe to assume that you are an exception. Remember, this series was created to help players eliminate some bad habits that might be driving others away. It was not created to insult anyone. Your mileage may vary.